Resistance, ADHD Time-Math and that time that Khalee and I were both so good despite everything else
Mount Pearl, Newfoundland and Labrador, November 21, 2022.
The weather is chilly (1 degree Celsius, 33.8 degrees Fahrenheit), there’s a wind warning in effect (80kmh with gusts to 95, 49.71mph with gusts to 59mph)
My house is noisy from the wind but it’s warm and cozy.
I’m a bit off track because several of my usual Monday things got changed and because I spent a good part of the day in waiting mode.
Why waiting mode? Tomorrow is my youngest son’s birthday and his present was due to arrive sometime today. Our address is often mixed up with a similar address nearby so I was on alert in case it was delivered to the wrong place.
Waiting mode is one of those situations where a neurotypical person (at least one who wasn’t anxious) would probably be able to put thoughts of the possible mix-up aside and carry on with their plans for the day. And if I had a strict schedule today, my neurodivergent brain *might* be able to do the same.
Alas, my schedule today was flexible. So between that flexibility, the loss of my usual Monday anchors, waiting mode, and the windy weather, I spent my day puttering from task to task.
And then, once the package arrived (yay!), I wanted to settle into my work.
That’s when this process started:
Khalee would need to go for a walk later so my brain was telling me that I probably wouldn’t want to dive too deeply into whatever I was doing right now.
So, maybe we should walk now. After all, the weather isn’t going to improve until tomorrow – and at least it is still light out.
But if I walk now, I might not be able to switch into work mode when I return.
So maybe I should skip the walk, right? After all, the wind warning clearly states that outdoor objects should be tied down. It could be *dangerous* out there, couldn’t it? Stuff could be flying around.
Hell, Khalee and I could blow away, couldn’t we?
Yeah, it’s often like this inside my head – it’s not all that fun.
But then, luckily, I saw a post on Instagram from someone local who was out for a walk, wearing their mask because it was the only way to keep warm – and probably the only way to catch their breath.
That’s when I remembered that I have fleece lined pants to wear over my jeans. And I have a warm coat and my hatphones. And a scarf my sister made. And I could wear my favourite mask.
So, I bundled up, got Khalee into her harness (today was apparently NOT a day for a dog to wear a sweater – I have to give the pup some autonomy, don’t I?) and headed out.
And, like most things – it was far worse to think about than it was to do.
It was stupid windy out. It was quite cold.
But it was manageable. And it wasn’t totally awful.
And Khalee and I were both so very good for dragging ourselves outside even though 50% of us were not keen on it.
I mean Khalee is automatically good, obviously, what with being a dog and all, but she bravely forged ahead into the wind until I called out to her so I could take a photo.
So yeah, she’s super-good but I’m pretty damn good too – overcoming so much resistance even though it would have been much easier (and quite understandable) if I had decided to stay home.
(And, I’m sorry to report, that I did indeed feel better after being outside and zipping through my walk. It was worth getting out for Khalee’s sake but, damn it, it was apparently also worth it for my own sake, too.)
Anyway, long story short (too late!), Khalee and I both get gold stars for our windy walk.
How about you?
How have you triumphed over resistance lately?
Was it worth it?
Would you like a gold star? Khalee and I will share!
PS: Happy Birthday to my youngest son, J, who is my baby but is not, apparently, actually a baby at all any more. In fact, he’s a newly-minted adult.
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